Sure was a FULL moon yesterday!

DISCLAIMER: No patrons were harmed (by me) in the events depicted in this blog. All who arrived at the library (physically or by phone) with questions left the reference encounter with correct answers and no clue that my mind had boggled at their question or that they would shortly be made fun of on the Internet.

Me: Library Reference, how can I help you?

Patron number one on the phone: I'm on route 64 in West Virginia and I need to get home.

Me: Where do you need to go?

P1: Dayton. I just want to get to 35.

Me: (Thinking, what am I now? a GPS?) Let me look up Route 64. What town are you near?

P1: The sign says Milton.

Me: Okay I see you on the map. You passed 35 when you went over the river. You could go back.

P1: I'm heading into Milton. Can I get to 35 from there?

Me: Well, if you get off in Milton and take Main street, you can turn on route 13 take that to route 90 and that hits 35. But--

P1: Can you mapquest it for me? How do I know I'm on Main street?

Me: I'm looking at a map right now. It would be easiest if you turned around and went about 15 miles back to the river to pick up 35.

P1: Oh, yeah OK. About how far is it?

Me: 15 miles. Good luck!

A few minutes later I got another call.

Me: Library Reference, how can I help you?

P2: I was looking on the MORE system and I found a book I'd like to request.

(MORE is a patron directed interlibrary loan system that we have to help them with sometimes)

Me: OK. What's the title?

P2: (shouting) What? I can't hear you!

Me: I can hear you fine. Can you hear me now?

P2: (shouting louder) What? I saw a book on MORE can you help me!

Me: (holding the phone away from my ear but right up to my mouth) I can! What's the title!?

P2: (still shouting) I can't hear you! I don't know why. I'm on my cell phone and I can't hear you. I should be able to hear you!

Me: (certain this is my partner Trent playing a joke--he hates cell phones) Can you hear  me now?!!

P2: I'LL CALL BACK LATER. THANK YOU!

He did call back and I was able to help him.

Then as I was leaving (coat on going out the door) there was an "alarm" 9 times out of 10 these are accidental. I wasn't the officer in charge & I was supposed to be gone. Rather than muddy the waters. I left. One minute from the library a cop car passed me. I circled back around & there were four in front of the library...I knew it was best if I not get in the fray. Nothing on the news, but the scuttlebutt is: Some guy supposedly flirted with some other guys girl. They "took it outside." The flirtee's boyfriend got a couple of his friends to help hom whale on the accused flirter--on a busy public street corner, in front of an open public building with hundreds of occupants...and quite a few surveillance cameras...not the swiftest gazelles in the herd. After throwing the accused flirter into the front window (and leaving a guy-shaped impression) the flirtee's beau and his buds vanished in a van...

Welcome to Dayton 19th most dangerous city in the US! Weeeeee! Chalk this one up to what they don't teach you in library school!