Disturbing Furniture

Working on a presentation for work--Hey! it's about social networking websites, so this WAS work--I needed a random search on You Tube & Ofra Haza came to mind & this is one of my favorites by her:

Lordy! what a voice! Still makes me all shivery. She passed away like seven years ago...I'm just glad she left such a large body of recordings that I can continue to discover them for years...

OK, back to the presentation...

What have I done!

Checking out the equality score card to find out if GLBT citizens in my state are second class citizens, I got a shock (not a huge one...but still...)

I have taken you, my Trentie, from a state with a 4.0 score (out of six) to one of the three worst states in the union with a score of 0.5 Ohio is in the company of only Idaho & Mississippi...we're behind Alabama fer Buddha's sake!

How does your state fare?

http://www.equalitygiving.org/States-of-Equality-and-Gay-Rights-Scorecard

(Oh, and it doesn't matter if you pick the state I actually took him from: Massachusettes or the state of his birth: Maine...both have that 4.0 score).

Sigh...

I need a laugh...here:

Thanks to Heather who had this on her Vox & it made me larf so hard...since we live it every morning...minus the bat, though I do have recurring headaches lately, hmmm.

Well, have I got a story for you. There's no love lost between us and our neighbors on the one side (we like the other side fine)...the ones of which I speak I have complained about here before; they have the beagle who never shuts up. Endeavoring to be the good Buddhist, I smile and wave at them when I see them...but that may be a little more difficult from now on.

Sunday morning it was raining. I was in our kitchen making a lentil salad to take to my sister's for our Mother's day dinner. Our kitchen is large. Here's a picture:

Kitchen windows

Those windows look out over about five feet of yard...then a low wooden fence...then about five feet of their yard. I was working at the counter there by the sink. As I said it was raining out, so the light was on in the kitchen.

I saw the neighbor's 12-ish year old son walk by with his jackey over his head...I didn't think anything of it. They usually go to church. (Or I should say they usually dress up on Sunday mornings, I'm assuming the destination)

I often wonder what they think of us sometimes dancing in the kitchen...smooching over the sink...I know they can see in and they know we are a couple...So a few moments later, I look up from veggie chopping and the kid is back. He has his hand at his belt buckle. I think, "Oh no, is he going to scratch himself?"

Nope. He whipped it out and peed. Right there. Between the houses. Not only in full view of our lighted windows at 10 a.m. but with nothing but about forty feet of clear yard between him and the road...I fled.

I yelled, "Oh my god!"

Trent who was doing laundry in the basement said, "What?"

I repeated, "Oh my god! You will never believe waht I just saw."

"One of the neighbors naked?"

I kid you not, he actually said that. But he was just thinking of the most outrageous thing he could...and I had to tell him he was pretty much right on target.

Maybe that's why we have a patch of dead grass in the back...

Trent and I were talking the other day about how funny it is that when a movie maker wants to make a character from middle America or from some place totally innocuous, they usually make them from Ohio. "Heathers" takes place in Ohio...Sometimes the movie makers even choose Dayton--did you know "Rocky Horror Picture Show" is set in "Denton" a Dayton clone?

Well, I agree Ohio is pretty much the milk in the icebox of the country.

Why here, we have so much trouble making up names for our towns, we pull them from other states and countries. We've got a Springfield (like everyone else). We've got a London, a Williamsburgh, a Dover, a Concord...but sometimes we like to put our own Ohio-spin on it...exert our individuality and creativity by pronouncing it differently...

Growing up I knew about Bellfountaine (Bell-fountin) and Versailles (Ver-Sales) and Lima (Lyma)...but just recently Trent came across Houston...not pronounced like the venerable town in Texass...but "House-tun"

And my favorite...just heard it today: Russia...in O-HY-O we pronunciate that "Roo-Sea-Ah"

Ok, it might have been a little cold...

That's ice on Squawpan Lake...and that is snow Mr. Trent is standing in. Well, after a winter of 197 inches of the stuff, it's bound to take a while to melt. We had two kinds of home made donuts (yum!) and I had a lobster roll and fried clams (yum!) We played lots of Upwords & did crossword puzzles while talkign and watching TV (some Canadian).

Trent got to spend his birthday with our northern nieces Taylor & Sophia. I got many videos with the new camera. I'm hoping the one of Trent and Sophia playing horsey came out because it was hysterical. Trent and Taylor invented a new game...one of Trent's quotes from Bugs Bunny is "I'm a fiddler crab! Why don't you shoot me? It's fiddler crab season!" from the cartoon "Duck! Rabbit! Duck!" wellll, Taylor was walking like a puppy so Trent showed her how to walk like a fiddler crab--that somehow devolved into "Fiddler Crab Wrestling"

Which Taylor wanted to play at every chance. That and she wanted to make episodes of "Taylor TV" with the new video camera.

Got to go out to camp, but not stay :-( maybe next time. Got to visit the Grandmas and spend lots of time with Grenda and Roger. I even saw six moose--mooses--meese Well, to be truthful I think two of them were repeats (the same moose over successive days) but they were my first!

Flying was a pain...driving is a pain...maybe we should just STAY next time! :-)

Sold ten more copies of my book over the weekend! Do you have yours yet? ;-)

Last night we went to see the national tour of "Spamalot" What a hoot!

Monty Python's Spamalot (2005 Original Broadway Cast)

Eric Idle

All of the voices were very good. However, we both had a little trouble in the first act understanding the cast...they were perhaps lazy on enunciation...but the second act was much better. (It was helpful to have heard the CD. Trent had even read over the lyrics).

I have seen the movie about 15 ot 20 times (though not for a few years) Trent has seen it much less...and we both liked the stage version very much. I also had audio recordings from the movie that I listened to regularly in high school; the musical is so faithful to the movie that I was mouthing the words along with the cast in places. Several of them did quite admirable jobs of impersonating the original Pythoners.

Monty Python's Spamalot

I don't know if there is more than one touring company...our has Gary Beach as the star...though the lady who played the Lady of The Lake stole the show with her voice (I don't have her name because I'm at work --at lunch!-- and the program is at home). So if they come to your town, it's definitely worth the price of admission!

So, remember my passive-agressive gas-passer? The lovely company I pay exorbitant rates to for natural gas who forced me into a week long game of phone tag until I got sick of it and called customer service?

Welll! They do have customer service...it just sucks as much as the rest of the company!

So the operator last week scheduled a technician to come out today...between 8 and 12 (I know, I thought that was a pretty big window too--the techs from the two other companies that were out the week before, said 8-10 and both were spot on)...I said sure.

So here I am...not vacuuming so I'll be able to hear the phone...taking the phone out with me when I let the cat out back...waiting, waiting, waiting...

And at 11 I get a call from some guy who says, "Uh, what is it exactly that we are supposed to do out there? The technician with the order called back to find out."

I explained the whole situation. Phone tag. Getting fed up. Calling customer service.

He had to call me back. And he said that their technicians don't do that. that it's contracted out to another company. He was very helpful getting me connected...sorta...see I still had to wait for a call.

I told him this time, I'll be here for another 20 minutes & then I'm gone.

She called back. And said she's waiting for a tech to return her call (well, at least it's a company wide policy) I told her I was leaving at noon (to go talk to the vet)...and she did get back to me...and the tech made it WITH NINE  MINUTES TO SPARE!

Never let it be said that VEctren doesn't do the least they can for their customers!

I'm wondering if they get paid by the call...or if they get kickbacks from the phone company for keeping the wires hopping.

I'm also wondering what the phone numbers are for the other natural gas delivery companies in the area.

If you have a choice, avoid Vectren at all costs...because VECTREN SUCKS! 

OK, with apologies, since  I am again not going to name publisher or author. You might be able to guess from some of what I'm about to say...but I won't confirm or deny (because I reviewed it for someone much like the two previous posts in this series)...

Will someone tell me why mega-authors feel compelled to try their hand at writing for young people?

When your every book for adults goes to the top of the bestsellers list (and I like them, really!) WHY WHY WHY do you think you can write for kids?

Look, people, writing for young people without sounding saccharine, condescending, or lame is HARD. It's harder than writing for adults. This is mostly due to the fact that you ain't a kid any more & being a kid is nothing like what you are telling yourself you remember it being. If the kid you were...read the book you just wrote, they'd probably poke you in the eye...at the very least they would throw it at you.

And publishers...I KNOW the publishing game is about making a profit. I know that if Bestseller Betty comes to you with the desire to write "Equine Magic Dream Mystery" or Bestseller Bob comes with a plan for a series "just like Harry Potter only in outerspace with aliens and a graphic novel to boot!" I'm sure you publishers know their name will sell even the most asinine, brainless barf...but please PLEASE employ some editors! Remember them? They are the ones who used to read manuscripts and tell the author that the characters were cliches, the dialog was unintentionally laughable, there's a complete lack of internal logic in the narrative, and the plot points appeared in pulp fiction when grand-dad was in diapers...

Sigh...I just read one that was all of that and a bag of poo.

My brain is bruised, but at least it's over!

Unfortunately...come on, you know what comes next! SURE you do!

IT'S THE FIRST OF A SERIES!

I'm sure there are vacant lots like this in every city...well, this one actually doubles as a parking lot during the day because downtown parking in Dayton is for shit...so it's not technically vacant 24/7. I park a couple blocks from the library. Because I willfully jaywalk after the police were such rude dorks to Trent about crossing the street in the middle of the block last year & because I want to take the shortest route to work...I walk through this little ecosystem every day at least two times.

Because people park there during the day, the build up of junk is curtailed. No washing machines, abandoned mopeds, or broken office equipment...I have seen rags and shoes...but usually it's empty bottles. Beer, rum, vodka...the bottles hang around for a couple of days to a week then they get broken.

Once there was a used condom & I got to clock how long it took to biodegrade or be crushed into the gravel. (two weeks)...just this morning I saw something that made me laugh out loud (likely causing others around me to mistake me for one of the mumbling eye-rollers that inhabit the area)...that something was a pregnancy test...and I thought it made perfect sense...

Rum...beer...condom...pregnancy test.

A natural progression! Circle of life!

Welcome to the city!

3:45 am ... we're awakened to the sounds of what we think was a cat barfing...or trying to.

Bruegel our 17 year old was on her side and panting. In my panicked state, I thought she stopped breathing a couple times, but when Trent made an unexpected sound in the hallway...she startled at it...The cats got new flea collars yesterday & we thought that was what caused the problem--I took hers off immediately. Trent found a 24 hour vet. And off we went. He insisted on driving (though he hates to drive at night & wouldn't you know it's the foggiest day of the year so far!). Trent wanted me to talk to Bruegie on the trip which was a good idea; she minds car rides less than her brother, but they aren't tops of her list of exciting morning activities. After passing it once, we found the place.

Surley receptionist checked us in.

Gay Bear technician checked out the cat who now seemed perfectly healthy (except for a low temperature--just like me!) She was all purrs...so much so they couldn't do one of the tests.

No-nonsense vet asked some questions...and Trent mentioned the new food too. Some new "healthy" stuff from Purina that Bruegie really liked...the vet, of course didn't know which of the new things it was...but suggested a bath, a shot, and some pills.

Home through the fog...and by the time we got there--Bruegie seemed completely normal.

Sigh. I'm happy for that, believe me...but stress, we don't need!